The only thing is I never knew God then, as I know Him today. I would like to share some things about myself and about how I got to know this God that I am now talking about.

I was married young and, at the age of 21, I had three girls, all under the age of five. Then at the age of 23 I had a horrific experience, that would change the course of my life forever. My wee girls died at our home in a house fire in May ’87. To put on paper how one might feel after such an experience as this; all I can say is that it is a handicap no one can see, only God. To go into detail and tell you how I got through is to say I only existed. Trying to cope with life from then on was never easy. My marriage broke up in ’95. Even though we had another family, two boys and a girl, myself and Paul just drifted far apart that we were now beyond any help. This was the one thing I could not fix. I myself took the full blame for the break-up. Myself and Paul had been through so much together, I did not want the marriage to end. I had believed that God had given me a second chance at life and had blessed us with another family. To me it seemed I had let God down.

Through this my life became unbearable and I was giving up the will to live. I had come to a stage in my life that I could not go on and there was no way back. I literally turned myself over to God one day and asked Him, “If you really are there, will You help me and put me on the right road?” My cry was so very real and I meant everything I said. That same day I said to myself, “I will go and see my uncle Dalton.”, who once had a troubled life but now was doing fine. This was my thoughts and this is what I had planned. In the meantime my phone rang and it was my uncle, asking me if I wanted to go to a prayer meeting in his house. You see, he had been a born again Christian and he said he had been praying for the family and that I was the one God had put on his heart. I then realised that what I had said to God that day HE really did hear me and HE was now showing me the right road. I was overwhelmed by all this, so I went to the meetings, which took place in the Baptist Church. I have to say, to my shame, I did not know that Christ died for me. I was now hearing the gospel for the first time in my life. I was saddened to think that all my life I thought that if you lived a good life and that you were a good enough person you would go to heaven. I have since learned that is not true. You see, I knew I had let God down and that is why I could not fix anything any more. I needed God’s forgiveness in my life and the only way to have that was to accept what His SON had done on the cross; that Christ was my Saviour, if only I would let Him.

I was going to the Baptist Church about three weeks now, and when I would hear the pastor preach God’s Word, it was like God Himself was just speaking to me about how much He loved me, even though I knew the sinner that I was. This is how God revealed Himself to me; John 3, verse 16: For God so loved the world that HE gave His only-begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

God paid dearly with the life of His Son. The highest price He could pay. Jesus accepted our punishment, paid the price for our sins, and then offered us the new life that He had bought for us. To believe is more than intellectual agreement that Jesus is God. It means to put our trust and confidence in Him, that He alone can save us. It is to put Christ in charge of our present plans and eternal destiny. This was the one thing I knew I had never done. Nobody was in charge of my life, only myself. I knew it was time for me to let go and let God. I went that day and I spoke with my pastor, Stephen Murphy. I told him how my life was. He took me through the sinner’s prayer by asking me if I believed I was a sinner. I said, “Yes.” He then said, “Do you believe Jesus died on the cross for you?” I said, “Yes.” Then he said to me, “In your own words, tell God you are sorry and ask Him to forgive you and ask Him to come into your life. And as you say this, then believe in your heart that He has heard you in Jesus’ name.” Well, in my own words I did ask God to forgive me. I also said, “You do God what I can’t do any more.”

I came home that night and the joy in my heart was with me to stay. The only way I can explain to you how I felt, I was full up. I didn’t know quite what was happening to me but whatever tears I had left they were tears of joy. And I wanted to tell everyone of this love I had found in Jesus, who now was my Lord and Saviour.

Since that day I have never looked back. I have fallen many times and have let people down, but God will never let you down. He is always by your side, ready to forgive you, again and again. For His mercies are new every morning. For He is faithful and just to forgive you of all your sins and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness.

This is the God that I have come to know. I love Him and this is the reason I live, because He holds my future. And my life is worth living now because I know He lives in me. My marriage is fully healed and, in ’99, we had another baby, a wee boy. His name is Jack. I am a born again Christian seven years now and I go to Bible study twice a week in the church. I can’t express in words what joy it is to my soul to be able to understand God’s Word and to apply it to my life. Everything that I have read in the Bible has changed the person I once was. I give thanks to God every day and I thank Him for answered prayers.

If ever you think you’re on your own, remember God is only waiting to help you.
What He done for me He also wants to do for you.
Just believe in the work of the cross.

No one can see the kingdom
Of God unless he is born
Again. John 3 verse 3

Jesus said…
I am the way, the truth,
and the life. No one comes to
the Father except through Me.
John 14 verse 6

If you confess with your
Mouth, Jesus is Lord; and
Believe in your heart that God
Raised Him from the dead, you
Will be saved. For it is with your
Heart that you believe and are
Justified, and it is with your
Mouth that you confess and are
Saved, as the Scripture says,
Anyone who trusts in Him will never be put to shame.
Romans 10 verses 9 to 11

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ANGELA O'HANLON

When Angela O’Hanlon wrote off her new car, she was angry – with God. She recalls: “I was driving at 82 mph, and was lucky to walk away from the accident alive. But I couldn’t see that God had preserved me from my own actions. I thought this was His way at getting at me.”

Brought upin a strict Irish family, Angela married at 16 to gain, as she thought, freedom, she had 6 children. At first times were hard, but later there was plenty of money for a house, fast cars and alcohol.

Says Angela: “I wasdrinking heavily because I was so unhappy I still had no freedom.” After the car crash Angela and her husband divorced. Aged 40, she tried to commit suicide.

After a number of relationships with men, Angela married for a second time. Her new partner was also a heavt drinker. One evening, not long after the wedding. They both talked of ending their own lives. From the depths of her sorrow, Angela cried out: “God, Jesus, Holy Ghost, whoever you are, please help me!” Somehow they both made it through the night, and were able to continue with their lives.

They made friends with a Christian who told Angela, “Jesus loves you” this really touched Angela’s heart, and she wanted to know more. She had previously thought of God as an unloving being, who only punished people. Not long after, Angela and her husband asked Jesus to come into their lives. This was 17 years ago

Now she says happily: “My life changed and the things that held us in bondage- particularly the craving for alcohol- are removed.” She now has the feeling of freedom she had left home to find so many years ago.

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MARIAN DONNELLY

My name is Marian Donnelly. I come from a family of 5; 2 brothers and 2 sisters. I was brought up a Catholic, although not really a practicing one. Looking back, the only ones who pushed me to go to mass and confession were the nuns in the school where I was taught. Once you could tell them what colour the priest’s vestments were you could fake it! And that’s what I did. I always believed in God but, to be honest, the saints and the dead were the ones I prayed to whenever I was in need or in trouble. I didn’t know any better and I wasn’t being told any different. Anyway, I got married in 1975, and, by 1977, I had a son and a daughter. My son, Damien, lives in America and my daughter, Grainne, lives here in Dundalk. I also have two beautiful grandchildren, Danielle and Kacey.

My ex-husband bought our first house in 1980 and, in 1982, he confessed to being a compulsive gambler. It was a shock, but not a surprise. A lot of money was outstanding and, as a result, we sold the house to pay off the debts. After all, at the end of the day, we still had our health, our children and each other. We struggled through the following few years and not much changed. I had a good idea he was still gambling only, this time, I had no more to give. It was a Council house, and I knew I wouldn’t be homeless again. Then, in 1987, my fears were revealed and, this time, we decided to emigrate away from all the debt collectors and make a fresh start in Chicago. Illegal immigrants, but it was a new lease of life. Among the Irish community there, we both got jobs and the children got into a school. The next few years were good. That too was soon to change. My husband’s whole personality was changing, and again, for the worse. In 1991 my biggest fear was revealed, when he confessed to me that he’d been having an affair for some time and that our marriage was over. I remember falling to my knees, and this gripping pain that words cannot describe. He told me that he loved but was no longer in love with me.

I went downhill rapidly after that, beginning to lose my own identity. I came home with the children in April 1991, homeless again, but not for long. My brother Jimmy and his wife Liz took us to live with them, which couldn’t have been easy, as they had 6 children; 11 of us under one roof! How they put up with us I don’t know, especially with the frame of mind I was in, and two rebellious teenagers who didn’t know what hit them, going from $100 Reeboks to not being able to buy a 10p bar of chocolate? Looking back now, that’s when I started calling out to God and really talking to Him. All the time He was listening to my prayers and answering me in ways I didn’t know then, but I know today, praise God. My first earnest prayer was for a house in Lisdoo. Nine houses were being built that year and about 300 applicatons in for them! In April ’92 I received a letter saying I was allocated no. 6. You can imagine how I felt. My now nearest and dearest friend, Katie Martin, was allocated no. 9. (God knew what He was doing.) Things were looking up for the first time in a long time and I was getting better. Now I didn’t really know Katie prior to this, but as neighbours we became great friends. We had our good and bad days. Katie would reflect on the time herself and Paul lost their children in a house fire. My sorrow and hardships were nothing in comparison, but nonetheless, I was beginning to feel really hard-done-by in life. I just longed to meet a nice man, with whom I could share my love and life.

As time went by, Katie changed, but for the better. She was always a kind, warm-hearted person and now she was that and more besides. She had this glow words can’t describe. She told me she was going to Bible meetings in the Baptist Church, and invited myself and Grainne to come along. So, in 1995, I went there for the first time, also it was my first time hearing the Gospel. I found the people there had that same joy in common with Katie and the pastor, Stephen Murphy, preached the word so clear that a child could understand. But this ‘child’ wasn’t ready yet! I remember an American pastor, Clarke Lowery, and his wife Sheila, there at that time. I told him some things about myself and how lonely life was. He told me to give my life to God. Well, of course, that’s not what I wanted to hear. I remember thinking to myself, “That’s OK for you Clarke, with a beautiful wife and children and God. You have it all.” What Clarke was really saying was that my priorities were all wrong. Seek God first and all else will surely follow, according to His will. But my will and my happiness were first and foremost then. I was hard-done-by and still in my thirties. I had a lot of living to do and I was going to do just that!

Myself and Katie never really had a falling out, but we didn’t have a lot in common anymore. Her life was God and the Bible, mine was getting even and getting a man. Eventually I met a wonderful man, a Cork-man! Everything I ever wanted. For the first year our relationship blossomed on letter-writing and the odd phone call. I knew in my heart this was the man for me and then my life took on a new phase. I would visit Pat in Cork for weekends and he would visit me when he could. Life was wonderful and couldn’t be better. I had it all at last: a home, Grainne and the children, no financial worries, the man of my dreams. What more could I need? I was soon to find out! By the way, not once did I give God any glory. To me, I was getting nothing more than I deserved. I know different today.

With my wonderful worldly life there was still this void. Something was missing. I started to think about Katie again. Although we lived but three doors away we had no contact for some years. Then one day myself and Grainne happened to wonder about Katie and if she was still going to church. We no sooner had the words spoken when my doorbell rang and it was little Amy (Katie’s daughter) saying, “Mammy says she is going to a meeting tonight and would you like to come?” Well, with God there is no coincidence. I was delighted to go to the meeting that night and, besides, I missed Katie as well. Looking back now, that was the real beginning on my journey to having Jesus as my Lord and Saviour.
Now, I must mention that whenever I did come back to meetings with Katie, she was attending a different Bible-believing Church. About a year went by attending that church, but I just didn’t feel I was fitting in or maybe ‘growing’ is a better way to put it. Eventually I got the courage to confide this to Katie, and asked her if she ever thought about going back to the Baptist Church, its members and the good times we had there. Little did I know that, at that precise time, Katie was burdened to go back as well, but also afraid to confuse me. So in the Spring of 2002, just a year ago, we came back.

God started showing me all the things that were so wrong about this ‘wonderful’ life I was living: sin, that before now was a natural thing, a way of life. I couldn’t believe that I was so deceived for so long. You see, my life wasn’t in shambles. I believed the Bible was only for people with a lot of sorrows in their lives. Not true. My so-called wonderful life, God mercifully showed me, was the smooth road to hell! By this time I had started talking to Pat about this God I had come to know and, as I said, no coincidence with God. Pat’s son was a baptised believer, in a church in Mallow, but Pat never took much notice, nor cared to attend any meetings with him. After I had a word with him, Pat started going to meetings with his son. I was so excited and could really see the Lord moving in all our lives.

Then came the real reality. I could no longer live like this anymore, serving two masters. I was like a Sunday Christian and someone else in Mallow. I was so burdened with this situation, I couldn’t go on in my sin. Then came the final leap of faith. I had to tell Pat we could be no more than friends. Now that may sound like an ultimatum, but it wasn’t. One of the hardest things I ever had to do was to explain this to Pat. I knew I stood to lose him, so I put my trust fully in the Lord, and stepped out in faith. I wrote a letter with God guiding my pen as I wrote, because when I read it back to myself, it sure wasn’t my way of wording things. Nonetheless, the bottom line was the same, nothing short of ‘It’s over’. In anticipation for two days I waited to hear some sort of reply. Pat phoned me up and his exact words were, “It was the most beautiful, heartfelt letter I have ever read.” That night I cried out to God in praise and honour for showing me the errors of my ways and, not only that, but for helping Pat to understand, and, above all, to put my happiness in the Lord above his own desires and feelings.

Now with all that out of the way, I came to realise that to have Jesus as Lord and Saviour of my life I needed to repent of my sins and believe in the work of the cross. God was speaking to me and His Word was alive in my life. I know that God looks at the heart and He says, ‘come as you are’. I am emphasising this because, whoever you are, whether you be happy or sad, you need Christ in your life. Please don’t be deceived for as long as I was. All my life I feared death. I could never say for sure that there was a place for me in Heaven but, praise God, now I’m assured of eternal life. What a promise!

Now, in all that, it was one thing realising all that, but another thing to come forward for baptism. I just knew it was the right thing to do. And so, I prayed about it. One night, before I set a date for my baptism, I knew it would be appropriate around Easter time. For some reason Good Friday came to mind. Now I prayed to God and asked Him for a little feedback. So I picked up my little daily reading book, and with Easter falling on a different date every year, I went forward to April 18th. In my own words I’ll tell you what I read and how I know the Lord answered me on that. ‘Has thou been attentive to all the Lord’s will even though some of His commands should be essential? Has thou observed the two ordinances of believer’s baptism and the Lord’s Supper?’ Well, that was it settled. I was now reading God’s Word with a repentant heart. I knew it was no longer something I had to pray about. It was something I had to stop running from. So, on ‘Good’ Friday, April 18th, 2003, I was baptised.

I would like to thank the ones who have made a difference in my life. Clarke Lowery for endless hours putting up with me. Stephen Murphy for being faithful to God’s Word and for being a spiritual leader in my life. Ruth MacCarthaigh for her honesty and care. My nearest and dearest friend Katie Martin for never giving up on me. Last, but not least, my friend Pat, for his understanding, and for putting my happiness in the Lord first. It gets better. Pat confessed to being saved just a few weeks before my baptism and will soon be putting a date on his own baptism. Also, the Church members for all their prayers. I never would have made it without them all.
My name is Marian Donnelly. I come from a family of five, two brothers and two sisters. My parents are since deceased. Like a lot of people here in Dundalk, I was brought up a Catholic, although not really a practising one. Looking back now, the only ones who pushed me to go to mass and confession were the nuns in the school where I was taught, from age four to fourteen. As long as you could tell them on Monday mornings what colour the priest’s vestments were on Sunday, you could fake it, and that’s exactly what I did.

I always believed in God but, to be honest, when it came to earnest prayer and requests for my life, it was always saints I prayed to. Even, at times, I found myself praying to my deceased parents! You see, the gospel was never preached to me nor was I ever encouraged to read a Bible, so, therefore, I was led to believe that I was doing just fine. I wasn’t a ‘bad’ person, or so I thought. I believed my good works and deeds were earning me a place in Heaven and when I would compare myself and my life to that of others, then I believed for most times that I was without sin. The biggest misconception of all! The Bible tells us that we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

I know that today I am a sinner, saved through faith and nothing of myself or anything good in me, but Christ in me. I would like to share with you how I came to hear the gospel and how my life is so complete and fulfilled since the day I asked Christ into my life, and confessed my sins to Him alone. With a repentant and a sincere heart I told Him how sorry I was for my sins and my ignorance. We will all remain ignorant to this fact if we don’t at least have an open mind, and come to the place where we will hear the gospel. I assure you, if you come with a willingness to listen, and an open mind, you will surely not go away confused. Our God is not a God of confusion.

I was married in 1975 and by 1977 I had a son and a daughter. We emigrated to America in 1987 and resided there ‘till 1991. Only my children and I returned that year. My then husband met another woman in America and had been having an affair for quite some time. This was a heart-breaking time in my life when he confessed to me. I truly had no idea. I was willing to forgive him but he chose to sever the marriage and so, in early 1991, I returned, with my then teenage children, back to Ireland, very broken and homeless. But thanks to my family who gave me their love and support and especially my brother Jimmy and his wife Liz who took us to live with them while we waited on the council housing list.

After a year we were allocated a house in Lisdoo, where today I still reside. With God there is no coincidence, and that is where I came to know and love my good neighbour and friend Katie Martin. We had known each other from way back when we lived in a place called Aghameen Park, Muirhevnamore, but not on a personal level. A terrible tragedy befell the Martin family in the year ’87 when they lost their three children in a house fire. That was the year I emigrated.

The years passed and, in 1992, out of nine houses built in Lisdoo – with around three hundred applicants for them – I was allocated no. 6 and the Martin family no. 9. Sometime over the following few years I got to know Katie personally and she told me she was a born again Christian and invited myself and my daughter, Grainne, to a Bible study. So around 1995 I came to the Baptist Church and that was my first time ever hearing the gospel preached. The people there had that same joy that I saw in Katie and the pastor, Stephen Murphy, preached the word so clear that a child could understand. But this child wasn’t ready yet.

Eventually I met a wonderful man called Pat. Pat resides in Cork. I would visit Pat for weekends and life was wonderful. My understanding then was that I was getting nothing more than I deserved. I felt bitter, held a lot of hatred in my heart for my ex-husband and his new wife, the woman he had left me for. I felt hard done by. I should mention that when I met Pat around 1998 I was not attending Church. I never had made a commitment in my heart. I was doing my own thing, my own way, and was on the smooth road to hell!

Around 2002 God started showing me all the things that were so wrong about this so-called wonderful life I was living. I had returned to fellowship in the Baptist Church, with an open heart and mind, around Easter time 2002. I knew in my heart I was living a sinful life, and I could no longer serve two masters. I introduced the gospel, and what little I knew then, to Pat. I told him we could be no more than friends. I owed it to Pat to tell him about Jesus and what He was doing in my life and how I was convicted with my sinful life. Pat started to fellowship in a Baptist Church in Cork and, within two months, got saved! The Lord is so merciful. A wonderful thing happened quite recently that I feel I should share. While all this was taking place, my ex-husband and his wife and child returned to Ireland to live. After not seeing them for twelve years, the peace of God in my heart not only took away all hatred but enabled me, with a sincere will and mind, to phone that woman, an American citizen, and welcome her and her child to Ireland. Not just that but I was able, in Christ, to meet her face to face and say the same! I can only say that I never felt such peace. What was hatred and bitterness, the Lord has turned to love and peace. What a blessing. Praise God.

So, on good Friday, 2003, I was baptised. Some six weeks later Pat was baptised also, in his local church in Blarney. We now have a different relationship but a more meaningful one, in Christ. And if it is God’s will for our life, we will some day be united as one in Christ.

Thanking you for taking the time to read my testimony. May it be a help and a blessing to you in lyouor life, whatever your situation.

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MARIE MURPHY

Before I begin I would like to mention two verses of Scripture that mean a lot to me. The first is Romans 8:28, ‘And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.’ This is the verse that I hold onto when things are difficult and the truth it contains has brought me through many difficult days. The second verse is 1 Samuel 15:22-23, ‘So Samuel said: “Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, He also has rejected you from being king.” This is the verse that helps to keep me on the straight and narrow. How awful we think witchcraft is1 well, in the eyes of God, rebellion – that is disobedience to God – is in god’s eyes as the sin of witchcraft. That often stops me in my tracks.

My name is Marie Murphy. I am married to Stephen and I have two sons, Stephen and Daniel. I am from the Dundalk area and I was brought up about two miles outside town in what was then the country.
Do you know when you have one of those moments when you feel as if something really important is happening and afterwards you can always remember where you were when it happened? Well, I have had several of those and looking back, I can see that it was God interrupting my life and catching my attention.
The first time it happened I was eight years old and I remember being at home one day, actually I was walking up the hallway in my parents’ house, and as I passed underneath the trapdoor in the attic I suddenly thought, ‘What am I doing here? Why am I alive? I must be here for a reason. Surely you just don’t exist and then stop!’ the thought really scared me and I did not know who I could ask that would not tell me not to be silly. I did not know anyone who would answer my question seriously. So I told myself not to be silly and tried to forget it.
A few years later, when I was in first year in Secondary school, I was in history class one day when it happened again. The teacher was teaching us about thc reformation period in history and we were learning about a man called Martin Luther. Martin Luther opposed the Catholic church teaching on selling indulgences. This is where the Catholic church taught that if you paid the church money for ‘indulgences’ you would get reduced time in purgatory or get straight into heaven. Martin Luther opposed this and he opposed other teachings as well. He was excommunicated from the church. Now I was only thirteen but even I knew that only God could decide who got into heaven and you definitely could not buy your way in.
It was as if the world stopped and stood still. I suddenly realised that if Martin Luther was right and he was excommunicated hwere did that leave the Catholic church?
Instinctively I knew that I would get into trouble if I asked this kind of question. Again I kept it to myself.

At home I had a really good life. My parents worked really hard to give us all the things they didn’t have growing up. So I had a very happy childhood. I was the middle child in a family of five, tow older brothers and two younger sisters. We had a ball! My parents were very loving and instilled in us many good habits. Lying was not tolerated and there was never any fear in the home.
Where I lived in the country there was a lot of drink about. I can actually say that one of the nieghbours I never saw sober in my life. Around us many families were plagued with drink. One family who lived close by had a son my father’s age and he used to come home drunk and beat his mother and sister. This scared the wits out of us as kids. When he was sober he was grand and when he was drunk he was awful. I promised myself I would never date a guy who drank. I was so scared that I would grow up and marry someone like that.
I remember my Dad once saying that drink had no place in the family home. He himself had taken the pledge and so, whilst we saw at close quarters the devastation it caused, we never had to suffer it in the house.

When I went to College I was an ardent Catholic and really missed religion teaching. One day I saw a notice on the college notice board advertising a Bible study in one of the teachers’ homes and decided to go with a lot of friends.
The poor lady, I was such an ardent Catholic that if the Pope did not say it, it was not true! I was very defensive and challenged everything.
Then one day the third thing happened. I was at a Bible study and I just read on myself when everyone else was talking about something and what I read changed my entire life. Matthew 13:54-57, ‘When He had come to his country, He taught them in their synagogue, so that they were astonished and said, “Where did this Man get this wisdom and these mighty works? Is this not the carpenter’s Son? Is not His mother called Mary? And His brothers James, Joses, Simon and Judas? And His sisters, are they not all with us? Where then did this Man get all these things? So they were offended at Him. but Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honour except in his own country and in his own house.” Reading this I realised that Jesus had real brothers and sisters. The Catholic church taught that Mary stayed a virgin all her life, that she only had one child, Jesus. The ‘Holy Family’ was Joseph, Mary and Jesus.
Both the Catholic church and the Bible could not be true. I had to think. I kept tossing it back and forth in my mind, but no matter what way I looked at it they both could not be right. In the end, I decided that the Bible that the Bible was God’s Word, then it must be true si I would believe it. I had no idea of how this would change my life.

I continued to attend the studies each week and I loved them, but I was a bit worried. This college lecturer was not a Catholic. I did not know what church she attended but it was not Catholic so I thought that if it was not Catholic it must be Protestant. I went to visit a friend of my brother’s who was a priest and I asked him the difference between Catholics and Protestants. He said Protestants did not believe in transubstantiation and they did not believe in Mary. I made sure that this was the only difference and, armed with this information, I went back to the Bible study thinking no one wuld catch me out. What I discovered was that this lady did believe in Mary and so did the others who called themselves Christian.

By this time I had met Stephen and became engaged and wanted to have the best relationship and marriage you could have. Stephen was a nominal Roman Catholic but just to please ma he came to some meetings. In November 1979 a weekend away was organized by a group of Christians including Chris Mayers and lady who ran the Bible studies I attended. The weekend was on relationships and naturally I wanted us both to attend. The couple who spoke at the weekend had teenage children and what I remember most was a lady, Joan Cardoo. I disagreed with everything she said about the role of women and in particular the role of married women. I thought she was from the Stone Age with her ideas. She spoke about the husband being the head of the house and about submission. In my books she was way off. However, what I could not deny was the relationship she had with her husband. It was so close and you knew watching that it was no pretence. It was what I wanted in my marriage. What also stood out was the relationship they both had with their children. It was obvious that their son really loved and respected them and he was very open with them as if they were friends. They had everything I wanted and she believed everything I didn’t.

The following March (it was a St. Patrick’s bank holiday weekend) there was another weekend away. This time the topic was, ‘How certain can you be?’ It was, ‘How sure can you be of where you will spend eternity?’ The speakers were Reggie Fry and Pastor Dunlop. Stephen told me on the way home that he was saved. I did not understand.

Imagine three years of Bible study and I still could not see. We went back to my parents’ home and Stephen explained it to me. He explained to me that I was a sinner and how awful my sin was in the eyes of God. But, because He loved me, His Son took my punishment the cross, how really it was my sin that nailed Jesus to the cross. My eyes were suddenly opened. I was devastated. The awfulness of my sin hit me and I saw how terrible I was and I was overcome by the fact that someone loved me so much that even though He knew me, the ‘real’ me and all the things I had done and would do in the future, He still willingly chose to die for me. I was broken and humbled and I asked for forgiveness and asked Jesus to take over my life and change me, and He did.
That was March 1980. I married Stephen that year in August and he is a total blessing to me. We have two sons, Stephen and Daniel who are 20 and 18 and who both belong to the Lord. He has also provided me with a daughter-in-law who also belongs to Him and she is a treasure.

After I got saved all the things I had heard over the previous three years started to fall into place. Now I realised that as Christ was the head of the church and loved her so much that He died for her that is the way a man is called to be head of his wife. It is a high calling with a huge responsibility. If you are loved so much, and constantly love and blessings are heaped upon you by your husband, then submitting to him is not a problem. You know he has you as a priority in his life, after God of course. It would be hard to resist that kind of love.

As regards bringing up your children and having a good relationship with your husband. Forget the ‘How to’ books, the Scripture shows us how to love and tells us how to discipline. It tells us how to be parents, friends, brothers and sisters, how to be peacemakers, how to witness. It tells us so much. The problem is following it all and being faithful.

I know that I have been so blessed and I know that I have seen the results of God’s faithfulness in our children. Sure we made plenty of mistakes and neither of us is perfect or anywhere near it. But God is gracious and loving and quick to forgive and He has truly blessed us.

Anyone who knows me knows how much I love children. Well, there is another reason I do get involved in children’s work. I think of the questions I had as a child and there was no adult that I felt I could ask who would take me seriously. Now I know that I am not unique and that all children have lots of spiritual questions. So who do they ask? If they live in a Christian home of course they can ask their parents. But what if they don’t? How many children live in Christian homes? Not many, so what about those children? As Christians we need to be there for the next generation. At the club on Friday I was asked by some of the children about some pictures on the front of some c.d.’s. What really shocked me was what they considered decent dress. As long as the girl had any top on or whether it was her hair that was covering her. This was acceptable, after all they said she was a popstar and she needed to promote her records. These children are between 10 and 13. This is the guidance and answers they receive from the world. We need to be available to them and show them the alternative.

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MARTIN MALONE

My name is Martin Malone. I was brought up in the Roman Catholic teaching and tradition. Going to church on Sunday was very important to me and I felt I was letting God and my parents down if I missed going, even through illness.

Confession was always a bone of contention for me and I could not understand how, on one hand, you could kneel down and pray to God but, on the other hand, you had to go into a dark confessional and confess your sins to a man (not God!). After all, God is the one we sin against. When I was 18 years old I stopped going to confession. I continued to be a regular Sunday churchgoer but never really knew if I would go to Heaven and lived more in hope than in certainty. I continued like this for almost 20 years, until 1990.

Around this time my brother-in-law came home from America. He was saved and he started telling me about the Bible and how he had got saved. It took a while convincing me but eventually, through his persistence, I started to read from the New Testament. I read a lot, on and off, but two verses from Romans chapter 10 would always stand out. Verse 9 told me that; if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. Verse 13 said:
everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. I knew when I read these verses that there was a Saviour who did die n the cross to save me from me sins and that Saviour was Jesus. I knew that if I believed on His word that He would save me and that, instead of hoping for Heaven, I would now be certain of Heaven.

I was attending Dundalk Baptist Church during this period and through the help of our pastor, Stephen Murphy, and a lot of the brothers and sisters in the Chruch who answered questions about God’s Word that I did not understand and showing me how all the answers that I needed could be found in the Bible, I was saved in February 1997. By the grace of God I was baptised in 20th of July 1997, which is the outward sign of the inner belief and a new life, a new beginning in the Lord.

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STEPHEN MURPHY

My name is Stephen Murphy. I am the Pastor of Dundalk Baptist Church. Let me share with you how I have come to know God in a real, personal way, and the change that He has brought to my life.
Like most Irish people, I was born into a Roman Catholic home. My parents were very sincere Catholics and as far back as I can remember I was told about God. Some of my earliest memories are of being brought to church. Part of my upbringing was that I was taught that God knew when we did wrong and that I needed to get forgiveness. As I grew older—at around 7 years of age—we were prepared for the Catholic Sacrament of Confession; now called the Sacrament of Reconciliation. We went into a dark, wooden cabinet called a “confessional” and there we were to tell the priest our sins. He, we were assured, represented God and what we told him was as if we were speaking to God Himself. After that we received our “First Holy Communion”. In this Sacrament we were assured that Jesus Himself was eaten by us—although the actual wafer we ate tasted just like any other wafer of bread. We did not understand this but we were assured that we were not meant to. Faith, we were told, was believing what we could not understand.
Later on I was prepared for “Confirmation”, another Sacrament. This was where we were given the opportunity to personally affirm the vows made on our behalf at Baptism, which was administered to me as a baby of a few days old. It never crossed our minds to ask why we were not given opportunity to be baptised upon our own request!
So I continued as I suppose the average Catholic does; not questioning very often but just assuming that as this was (or so I was told) the Church that Jesus established then it must be right and therefore who was I to question?
Eventually though I began to question. As I studied History I saw the terrible story of murder, persecution, and war - as well as moral disaster that was the story of the church for most of its history. If this was Christianity then I did not want anything to do with it. I became in effect an agnostic. I never formally repudiated my Catholicism - I just let it go as far as having any impact on my thinking and actions. If there was a God—and I cannot say it bothered me much either way—then I would have to find Him, or He me, somewhere else.
In 1979 during the final year of my degree a number of crucial things happened. I studied the history of the Reformation for my final year. In so doing I was introduced to men who, on a much larger stage, asked the same questions that I knew had to be answered. Secondly, my fiancée (now my dear wife) Marie had begun to attend a Bible study. One of the teachers in her College was a Christian and opened her apartment for Bible study with the students after school. I attended and was impressed by the mixture of non-religious informality and a real seriousness in the approach to the Bible itself. She really believed it was God’s Word!
Following on from this we were both invited to a weekend away. At the weekend there were special speakers who spoke on selected topics of the Christian life using the Bible to do so. While this was interesting, what really got my attention was something else. Many of the young people at the weekend were Christians. They were in many ways just like me—or at least there was no single factor which differentiated them from me except one: they all claimed that they were “born again”. They claimed that they knew Jesus, that He was alive and that they had a relationship with God through Him. The disconcerting thing was that somehow there was something about them that almost made me believe it! They seemed to have a sense of peace and wholeness, which I knew that I lacked. And as I questioned them about it they continually brought me back to Jesus. Eventually they challenged me to check out all of this in my own Bible. That was a problem! Even though I was a final year student at a third level college I did not possess a Bible. Having bought one, I began to read.
I began my search in the Book of Acts in the New Testament. I knew from my History that this was the story of the early church. If these people were really Christians then what they believed would surely be there. Two things—at least—surprised me. Not only was the Christianity that I found in the New Testament like that which the young people talked about, it was not at all like what I had been brought up in! There was no hierarchy—no priesthood at all except that of Jesus Himself—the Book of Hebrews was very strong on this point. Also the Bible put the emphasis on a relationship with God through Jesus. He–and He alone—was described as the “Mediator” between God and His people. As well as these lessons that I was learning, I was struck by the authority of the Bible itself. By this I mean that as I read it—still an agnostic, albeit a more open one—I knew I was being spoken to by an authority greater than myself somehow through this book. Nothing had prepared me for this. I was faced with some serious decisions. I knew that what these people had was attractive—after all who does not want to be whole, fulfilled, have a real reason for life and a hope bigger than death? Also what they said and how they lived was what the Bible described real Christianity to be.
But was Christianity itself real? This was my final hurdle. I began to read again. This time I asked myself what question could I investigate—the answer to which would settle the reality of Christianity once and for all. It was—is—a big question! The New Testament ultimately stands or falls on a single issue: Is Jesus still dead or did He—as He promised and as the Church proclaims—rise victorious over death? If He did then all else He said and did can, and indeed must, be accepted on His say-so. If not then no matter what else He said or indeed how sincere the beliefs of His followers—then and now—it is not true.
The Resurrection? – How can you investigate that! Obviously neither I nor anyone else can time-travel and experience it. So how do we accept or reject historical claims? Ultimately it is on the credibility of the witnesses at the time and the integrity of the subsequent record. In other words were the apostles reliable witness at the time and does the New Testament accurately record what they experienced. As I systematically investigated all the theories that men have put forward to supposedly disprove the Resurrection of Jesus they all had one thing in common: they were all harder to believe—literally, more incredible—than the Resurrection itself. Take for example “the Disciples stole and hid His body theory” This is the oldest of the alternative theories—put forward by those (the Jewish leaders) who knew it not to be true! (See the end of Matthew’s gospel.)
Well of course the disciples in theory could have taken the body. Now this is, let’s face it, unlikely. They do not come across as those who would over-power the guard, which Pilate had instructed to be placed there. (Peter was afraid to face down a simple serving girl!) But allowing even this improbability, they would not only have to perpetrate this astounding act of bravery to commit a knowing fraud but also be prepared to die for that which they knew to be untrue! Most of the apostles died bearing unshakeable witness to the Resurrection of Jesus. Could it be that having met Him Who for their sakes defeated death, it conquered their fear of death? Surely a more likely scenario knowing the reality of human nature.
But what about the Bible–the Gospels, the Acts, and the letters? Can they be considered as good historical documents? The New Testament has literally thousands of early manuscripts still preserved. All the study of critics friendly and hostile has never dented the integrity of what it claims. In other words, those who have studied the New Testament and still don’t believe admit that it is not because they find the manuscripts contradictory but they simply reject the Message that the texts unanimously affirm! There is more evidence for the Resurrection than many of the facts we take without question from the rest of history!
I was convinced that miracle though it was, Jesus was and is alive! Now I was at the crossroads. I had seen the attractiveness of Christianity and of Jesus Himself. I knew that His claims were true. But if His claims were true, then His warnings and His invitations were true as well! He warned over and over that the kingdom of God was at hand and that we need to repent (Mark 1:15). He warned that not to believe in Him would mean to die in sin and that where He was I could never come. (John 8:21 & 24) He also promised that whoever came to Him he would never turn them away! (John 6:37) So on the 17th March 1980 upon His invitation, not able to change myself, I came to Him. He changed me. Firstly I noticed a sense of joy and peace. It was like finally coming home. Then day by day, week by week and year after year He continued—and continues to change me. Old habits die away. He replaces old attitudes with new ones. He is changing me to be more like Him. I know that there is an awesomely great distance still to go but I know something even better: The Bible promises that God who has begun a good work in me will bring to conclusion on the day that Jesus returns. Then I will both see Him finally and finally be like Him! It is all of grace. God tells us in His Word that His love for us is based upon Himself and what Jesus did at Calvary. I benefit from it even though I could never deserve to earn it! (Ephesians 2:8-10)
What about you? What God has done for me and for millions of others He can and will do for you. Would you like to know more about Him? Then please feel free to contact me personally and I would love to help you find Him Who found me!

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PAT SCUFFINS

Firstly: My name is Pat Scuffins and I’ve lived nearly all my life in my home town of Mallow in Co. Cork. My early and later schooldays were one of complete unhappiness, all due to the horrific and bullying methods of the Christian Brothers, and others. An unhappy school life was followed by an equally unhappy marriage which resulted in separation. This left me a nowhere person in life.

For years I indulged in heavy drinking and debauchery and much more sinful acts of an unspeakable nature. Then after many years of pointless living a BIG change was about to come into my life. Even though I was a Roman Catholic I never really had much time for that church and its odd policies. I always thought the Bible was the same all over the world, until I discovered that the Roman Catholic version was completely and confusingly different. Then the true Word of God, as spoken in the King James version and others, was revealed to me by a wonderful stroke of faith. This I discovered when my son, Dennis, himself now a born again and wonderful Christian, used to tell me about its teachings as he read it and explained to me in some details the meaning of certain passages etc.

At this stage now I met a wonderful person who was to become a big part of my life, Marian, all the way from Dundalk in Co. Louth (the Wee County!). We both enjoyed our life to the extreme for years but we lived in sin and that was simply not good enough. Marian, who was also to become born again in Christ, eventually wrote to me and said it could not go on any longer, that she, in her heart, had to live for Christ in an obedient and proper way. This, through the Lord’s mercy on me, I understood and it was also at this point I knew that the events which led up to it were no mere coincidence. I knew in my heart it was the Lord at work. His mercy upon me was clear as I thought more and more. I thank Him for enabling me to see the light. And so, after a period of time, my heart surrendered as I read and understood His Word more and more, with the help of Pastor Ledbetter and others. And some three and a half months ago I went on my knees and repented, asking Him for forgiveness of my sins and told Him I was an unworthy person deserving nothing more but to be cast into the fires of hell! I asked Him to change the delight I got out of my sin to one of hate and to come into my heart and save me.

So, from then up to now, today – the day of my baptism, here at this lovely location of Inniscarra, I put my trust totally in Him forever.
Amen.

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RUTH MACCARTHAIGH

My name is Ruth Mac Carthaigh and I was brought up in Blackrock in Co Louth, Ireland as a Catholic. I never felt I had a close relationship with God. I lost confidence with the church and from my mid-teens onwards I began to think and believe that because the image of God I had been shown was wrong, that there was no God.

I moved to Dublin when I was seventeen, met and fell in love with Dave. We were very happy and over the next ten years bought a house, went on holidays and generally had a very pleasant and happy life together. When our marriage broke down due to his unfaithfulness I was devastated. I still loved him very much and found leaving him, selling our home and moving back to Dundalk very hard.

I thought I would never get over the break with Dave but with the love and help of my family I eventually did. After two years went by I met Sean. I couldn’t believe it! We fell in love with one another, bought a house in Newry, got engaged to be married, planned for a family and once again I was looking forwards to a happy future.

Sean died in a car accident when I was six months pregnant. There is no point in trying to describe to you how I felt at the time, I don’t think it’s possible. I had my son, Sean, exactly twelve weeks after his father died. I had been afraid at the time that I might loose the baby so I tried as best as I could to keep the grief in. After the birth I was afraid I might get post natal depression, so I continued to hold in the grief so much so that eventually, eighteen months after Sean’s death, I found I was getting worse rather than better. Although I did visit Sean’s grave, I found no comfort there as I had been an atheist for years. I started to attend a bereavement group and once again, after two years, things began to look up.
Although before and after Sean’s death my relationship with Sean’s family had been good, it began to break down, so much so that eventually I left my home, leaving most of my furniture and belongings and moved back to Blackrock. I had hoped things would improve for me there but instead things got worse. I found myself at a point in my life that I just wanted to give up. I had lost Dave, my home in Dublin, Sean, his family, my home in Newry and now I felt as if I was loosing my own family. I didn’t understand why all this was happening to me and on the night of my lowest ebb I cried out to God that if he was there, I didn’t care. I asked him what was the point in living this life if you could trust nobody and have to be miserable all your life. Whatever bit of faith I had left in the human race deserted me at this time. I hated the world and everything to do with it. I wanted out. It’s hard to admit it now, but right then, what went through my mind was the need for everything to stop, I wanted to end my life. It was really then that the full horror of my situation hit me. I wasn’t going anywhere because I had my son Sean to care for. I couldn’t leave him and make him an orphan with no father and mother. I felt trapped. Whatever lows I had reached up to this point in my life, this was the worst, and I knew I had hit rock bottom. Unbeknownst to me at the time, this proved to be the changing point in my life for the better and it would never be the same again!

On a Monday, my sister who attended the Dundalk Baptist Centre asked the women there to pray for me because she was going to ask me to go to a meeting with her the following Friday. The next day, Tuesday, my brother told me that if I wanted to believe in God that I should ask him into my life. That evening, I said something like this out loud, “Lord Jesus, please come into my life”. To tell the truth, I felt a little bit silly and just went to bed and forgot all about it.

My sister asked me to go to the meeting with her on the Friday night and I thought “why not?” There were two speakers there and they spoke about Jesus and God and they started the meeting by reading some of the Bible. They explained why Jesus came here and why he died. They explained the real love that God has for us. Nobody had ever explained the relationship between God and us and between the Father and Jesus this way before. In all the times I had heard it at school and mass, I had never had it explained so clearly and correctly as at this time. This was the first time I had ever heard the true Gospel, the true story of Jesus, how and why He had died to take the guilt of our sin and allow us to be close to Him, and also the meaning of life, my life. One of the men said that he was going to confess his sins and that if anybody wanted to join him they could do so silently if they wanted to. He said that he was a sinner and I agreed to myself that I too was a sinner. He said that he was sorry for his sins and I thought of some of the things I have done in the past, things I had long buried with the hope of forgetting, things I was desperately ashamed of. I said to myself that I too was sorry and meant it. The whole night was upsetting for me and I left feeling down.

Two weeks later I went to the Baptist Church with my sister and thought it was wonderful! I felt full of peace and happiness and yet I also felt very bad, almost as if everybody there could see right through me to my sins. I came back that evening and felt the same again. A day or two later I got my mother’s Bible and began to read through it. A few minutes later I put my two hands on it and I began to cry. I just knew everything in it was true! I knew God was real, the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I knew it was what I had been looking for all these years. I cried with happiness! Now I knew I was right with God, what the Bible calls saved. He revealed himself to me. There is such a difference between believing in God because somebody tells you, and God himself coming down and revealing himself to you! I was shocked! After all these years, to find out from God himself that He is real!

Things moved quickly. I started to read the Bible and attend Bible study classes. I attended the Church. I asked Stephen, my pastor, every question I could think of and by referring to the Bible time and time again, and he answered them all. I began to pray. I sat up for hours at night reading and praying and just talking to God, it was the most wonderful time of my life. It was also a very hard time for me as I had to come to terms with what I was really like. It was as if Jesus held up a mirror and I saw what I should be like. It helped me realise how rotten and sinful I was and how much I needed God’s forgiveness. Almost three months later I got baptised.

Since God saved me from my old life to a life of hope and to a life with a true relationship with Him, my life has changed completely. I am a new person. I am happy and loved. The best of times before are nothing to compare with the worst of times now! I am blessed because God has turned my life around. Even when I have trials, He is with me and they are as nothing. Everything I need to know about how to live this life, I find in the Bible, and with God’s help I try to live by every word of it. He has healed several broken relationships that I have had with people over the years. He has changed me to the extent that I am not ashamed to tell people all about Him, something that I would never have thought possible in the not too distant past. Not only have I His assurance of being with Him for eternity but He helps me to live this life here and now. Instead of trying to live my life my way, I seek God’s will in everything. Up to quite recently I have tried things my way and if I am totally honest, it hasn’t been a success. Since God has adopted me, so to speak, and I have allowed Him a free hand in my life, things have never been better. I am now happily married to another Christian, Niall. He and I are devoting our lives to God and part of that is to tell you what the Lord wants you to know, that He loves you and want’s you, and He is waiting for you to turn to Him.

You know, you don’t have to trust in your good deeds to get to God, you don’t have to climb a ladder of prayer and penance to reach Him. You don’t have to wait until you are good enough for Him before you go to him, He will come to you where you are right now, and the way you are right now. Just ask him! He will show you the way. One way to find Him is through the Bible. You could start in the New Testament, say, Matthew, Mark, Luke or John in particular.

I believe that God loves me and has been waiting for me to call out to Him. I in turn was busy living a happy, contented life without a thought for God. Thankfully, with love, God got my attention (eventually!) by allowing my life to fall apart, bit by bit. When my marriage broke down I turned to my family for help and comfort. When dear Sean died I turned to his family for help and comfort. When my life fell asunder I had nobody left to turn to. In desperation I turned to God, hoping that there was somebody or something that would help me, and found that He was there! I was an atheist for almost twenty years, but ended up desperately hoping that there was more to life, and God has proved to me that there is. An awful lot more! An eternity!

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MIKE MCSHANE

I was born in Coventry, England in 1957 into a Catholic family. My mother took me to mass every week, which I hated! I left school at fifteen and began working in the hotel trade. Then at sixteen I joined the merchant navy seeing many parts of the world, but at the same time drinking, drug taking and going with women.

It was about this time that somebody gave me a gospel tract called “Holy Joe” and it’s the first time I had a realisation of God, or any knowledge of God, and it had an impact on me at that time, but there was no conversion on my part!

In 1975 I came to live in Northern Ireland because my parents were now living there. It was the height of the troubles and did not do my nerves any favours. A local bar 200 yards away was blown up killing three people, and the night before I had been drinking and playing pool in the same bar, God spared me.

By 1979 I decided to return to England and stay with relatives I had in Manchester, working in various jobs etc. By this time I met Stephanie and we were married within the year, my son died at birth but we went on to have two girls, Fay and Eve. At the time of his death Stephanie wanted to kill herself but we got over it, you have to really.

In 1981 I got a job in social services working with the mentally ill and mentally handicapped. It was rewarding work but at times very stressful. One day I started looking through an old “Good News” Bible we had in the house, and happened to look in Leviticus (the third book of the Old Testament). I noticed that eating pork displeased God, and promptly decided to stop eating all pork products including bacon and ham etc. I would then go to the pub in the evening and get drunk with my mates, having no understanding of scriptures whatsoever or my incredible hypocrisy. This is how crazy it can get if you try to come close to God on your own terms and with an unrepentant heart.

A few years later Stephanie and I split up due to my adultery. I moved into a flat on my own and as the months moved on, work became very stressful and my health began to suffer and I was diagnosed with M.E. (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) So by 1991 social services pensioned me off and I decided to return to Northern Ireland. Although my illness improved slightly, I never really recovered.

In mid 1996 a routine cholesterol test showed up very high levels, this scared me into some weight training at a gymnasium, and after three days working out I knew something was wrong and I felt very strange. So I immediately stopped, and exactly thirty days later on November first 1996 I collapsed in a heap of weakness, and was virtually bedbound for the next two years. I even had to drink through a straw as I was that fatigued I couldn’t lift a cup.

It felt like the end of the world to me, two years of feeling so ill. I decided I would give it six more months to recover or kill myself. My two girls kept entering into my head and I thought, “How could I do this to them?’ What I didn’t know was that the Lord God was in total control of events and was about to save me.

In mid 1998 I started looking through a small New Testament that found its way into my hands. This time I wanted to know the Lord, the truth and the reason for everything. A couple of weeks later I asked God to save me and asked Christ to be my Lord and Savior. My heart was just broken before Him. Psalm 34:18. So many of us have to be brought to our knees in this life. Some curse God for this while others thank Him for showing them the error of their ways.

A word of caution here, if you have been hearing the Gospel preached or given tracts over the last few days, weeks, or even years, please repent now as you are not guaranteed tomorrow!

Anyway, some weeks later I thought, ‘Where in the world am I going to find a group of people (The Church) that has the Bible as final authority?’ Well, The Lord took me to the States via the internet, to Pastor David Cloud’s website which had a list of Bible believing Churches in various places. The nearest to me seemed to be Bray Hill Baptist Church in Belfast. So my mother and I travelled to Belfast and the Pastor and his wife invited us to lunch. He then told me there was a sound Church in Dundalk, Co Louth, only ten miles from my home.

The lord will always come through for you when you keep trusting Him. Psalm 18:30

The lord has blessed me greatly in the last year (2003). I made a vow before God that even if my health improved only slightly I would deliver Gospel tracts to the Catholic people of South Armagh. This has come to pass, and at least twice a week I’m able to deliver the truth to many homes. What an awesome God we have! And we owe it all to Jesus Christ who took our sins on Himself and brought us back to God! Amen.

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YANA MUSKULIDI

My name is Yana Muskulidi. I was born in Russia. At that time my country was called the Soviet Union and religion was against the law. I grew up in an atheistic family. My father was a member of the Communist Party and in our family we never prayed and never read the Bible. From my childhood I asked myself the questions, ‘Why are people born?’, ‘Why do they die sooner or later?’, ‘Why was I born?’ and ‘Is God real?’

In school I had a friend called Sasha. We were in a bad class. Very often we were mocked by the other children because we were different, we didn’t smoke or drink and we worked at school. This was perhaps the first time I wondered why people behaved in bad ways, however, a few years later we became just as bad as them.

My friend’s grandparents were Baptists. My friend came to Christ Jesus when we were 18 years old. I was shocked. Firstly, because the Baptist Church in Russia is considered to be a cult. Secondly, I always thought the church was for desperate people, like those who were jobless or very sick, or old people who are preparing to die. She wasn’t really a strong person so I put it down to character weakness. Sometimes she told me about Jesus, Church and Christians. I just listened out of politeness. The Christian life, prayers and Bible study and Church services, all seemed boring and very uninteresting. I was young, in my late teens, and I was enjoying my life, nightclubs etc.

I noticed that to get on in life, many people became selfish, proud, ambitious and this seemed ok to me too. I liked the idea of living for myself, my wants and desires. This is why I didn’t think I needed God. My friend told me more and more about Christianity, and her Church. I began to understand what she really believed and what Christians were really like. Sometimes she would use the Bible to show me why things were wrong. Once she offered to pray before a meal. I was surprised but said “Yes”. She shut her eyes and thanked God for our food, our health and other things. It was wonderful for me. I didn’t know people could talk to God in such a personal manner. I was also amazed she would thank God for everything we have.

The next month I visited her. Her mum was sick with cancer. She was dying. She died the day I called, while I was in the house. While she was in her dying moments Sasha and her sister were crying and praying to God to heal their mother. I said “Sasha, stop it, she’s already dead.” We called nieghbours and her pastor. When he arrived he was so different from what I expected. When he spoke to Sasha, he smiled and told her, “It’s ok. Your mum is happy now. She’s in a better place.” I thought, “A person can’t be happy after death.” I just went home and thought about this over the next few days. I didn’t go to the funeral, but I heard that many of the Church members were there and sang Christian songs. This was shocking to the nieghbours who were watching. It’s not usual to hear singing at funerals in Russia. I heard later that the Church collected a lot of money and gave a gift to the two sisters.

Something else was going on in my life at this time. My boss, who was rich and successful, began to make advances towards me. I kept putting him off and told him I loved my boyfriend Dimitrei. Eventually he threatened me that if I didn’t sleep with him I would lose my job. Once he even refused to pay me my month’s salary saying I hadn’t worked hard enough and didn’t do what he wanted. I wondered, ‘If there is a God, how does He let people like this go unpunished?’ Dimitrei and I got married in June 1997 and one month later my boss sacked me.

We had a small family wedding, with only a few friends there. Although my friend Sasha should have been my bridesmaid I didn’t invite her because I was ashamed of her Christian faith. She wasn’t hurt and we remained friends. In the winter of 1998 she invited me to her Church. I was interested. I don’t remember what the preacher spoke about because I was watching the people. There were many young people in the Church. They didn’t seem like desperate people. It seemed that they knew the meaning of life. In their eyes I saw happiness and peace. It looked like they didn’t face a tough life, the tough life which was normal in Russia. These people were so different. The Church building didn’t have icons or statues and on the wall was written, “Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world.” It was strange for me. The service started and the choir sang hymns about Christ and about salvation. The Preachers also spoke about Christ, reading from the Bible. The service in the Baptist Church lasted about two hours with songs, prayer and preaching. Visitors commented that it was like going to a concert! I wondered what was bringing these people to these services. Maybe they didn’t like their lives before they became churchgoers?

Most of all I remember the pastor. He prayed for the unsaved who were there with tears and a trembling voice. I had never seen a man crying before. I realised he was crying for me also. I thought, “I’m not a criminal, not a sinner. I don’t need salvation.” Sasha gave me a gift of a Bible at this time. A few months later I started to read the Bible from the beginning and I could not understand the Old Testament. Probably this was because I didn’t believe it. In autumn of the same year my husband and I were in a car accident and had a miraculous escape. We thought this was divine intervention and started to attend the Baptist Church.

For me it was a beginning. I attended Church every Sunday. It was wonderful and from the sermons I got a lot of answers to my questions. I understood that everyone was born a sinner and can only be changed by God. And also I understood that everyone needs to be saved, criminals and good-living people. Even a small lie is a sin in God’s eyes. Things like adultery and abortion, which have become acceptable in our world, are sins too. Then I understood that if I came to Christ I would no longer go to bars, night clubs etc. enjoying that kind of life .I was beginning to fear God because of the life I was living but I still wanted to live life my way, so I couldn’t take that step, yet.

In the winter of 1999 I was at home alone and suddenly I could see. I needed to confess to God. I understood my life had no meaning. I knew that my priorities were all wrong. I realised that everything I was living for could be taken away. I had no foundation. I knew what would happen to my soul if I died and faced God. I knelt down but I couldn’t speak for a while because I had never prayed before. It seemed odd to pray to nothing, no statues, no icons, just the void. I started sobbing and praying for the first time in my life. I asked God to forgive me for my unbelief and for what I had done in my life. Then I asked Him to take my life in His hands. When I stood up I felt as if a weight had been lifted off me, that I was forgiven. A few months later I was baptised in the local river.

My life was changed. The first months of my new life I was happy. I went to all the services in the Church. I listened very carefully to all the preaching. I liked it. I understood a lot of things. But to be honest I didn’t like the idea of eternal life. I didn’t tell anybody in the Church because I was ashamed. I tried to appear to be a good Christian, to be active in the Church. I was happy in my new life, I was forgiven, I thought God would give me everything. I wanted it to be like a slot machine, I’d put money in and out would come the winnings! I couldn’t understand that God could love the real me, with my faults and failings. In Church I was often alone and very few people would speak to me. In spite of this I liked these people more than non-Christians. I even joined the choir to make new friends and to be seen. I was still a bit proud!

My parents didn’t understand what had happened to me. They said Sasha had lured me into a cult and once when she phoned me, my dad yelled a lot of bad things at her. Dimitrei wasn’t against me going to Church. He came with me a few times at the beginning but then only occasionally after my baptism. I was angry. I wanted to bring him to the Lord! Later I knew he was reading the Bible on his own. He even stopped this too, maybe because of me. Maybe I didn’t trust God in this matter. Every holiday I invited him, because I was in the choir. Each time I hoped “This time he’ll be saved and everybody will see us together!”

I spoke to my sisters a lot about God. Soon after me, my middle sister was saved. But my father stopped her going to church and sometimes even hid her Bible. He would say things to her like, ‘If you go to that church you’ll end up like Yana, narrow-minded and ignorant!’ My father didn’t accept God’s forgiveness. He was an alcoholic and drank a lot and finally killed himself in the year 2000.

Our family was shocked because of this. His last day he asked me about God but, because he was drunk, I said, ‘Let’s talk about this tomorrow.’ That night he killed himself! My family was concerned for me because I was pregnant. My brother and sisters in the church were prayed for me and everything worked out fine. Our son, Artem, was born one month later. My mother cried a lot and considered herself guilty because of her husband’s death. I also felt guilty because I hadn’t taken that last chance to tell him about God.

My mother began to look for some comfort so she began to come to church. Later she too was saved. Of course, my sister was able to attend church again. She made a lot of friends and I was happy for her. My youngest sister also said she was saved but I’m not sure it’s genuine. After 2 years she stopped attending church and went back to her old way of life. But I do believe god will bring her back to Himself.

At first I was ashamed to speak to my relatives about my faith. Our best friends, Dmitrei’s and mine, knew about my faith and came to church a few times. But they are still Russian Orthodox christians, not real christians. My relatives have no contact with us since my mother was saved.

Shortly before we came to Ireland there was a teenage boy from a christian family who got saved. He had been very sick for a long time and the doctors had not been able to help him. He got saved and got well very soon afterwards. He matured very quickly and had a great knowledge of the Bible and an understanding of people. What happened to him transformed my view of God. God used him to change me in many ways. Now I want to live my whole life serving God. Eternal life is now something wonderful!

Dmitrei decided to move to Ireland to work. For a year and a half we saved and prepared. I didn’t want to go. I prayed all this time. of course, I knew I would accept God’s will. I arrived here a few months after Dmitrei, in late December 2001. Now most of the people we met were non-christian Russian-speaking people who had moved here too. This was strange for me. Back in Russia most of the people I knew were christians. I found it hard to tell these people about my faith. I realised they would be washing how we lived, thc’s so important!

In March of 2002 I found the Dundalk Baptist church. It was so small. The church at home had about a thousand members, this one had only a few dozen! But I found they had a real brotherly love. When our second son, Denis, was born the ladies of the church arranged to have meals sent to our home for several days afterwards. This was a very welcome blessing to me!

It seems that God plans to keep us here for the moment. Recently Dmitrei was offered a job in Tullamore. I prayed to God, trusting in His will. The job was switched for a local one instead.

Since we arrived here many more Russian-speaking people have moved into the area. My hope is that the Lord will use me to witness to them.

Thank you.

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